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Kids: Gotta Love ‘Em

My God-daughter Jaden was over today. My daughter Kendall often gives hand-me-down clothes to Jaden. It just so happens that we were going through Kendall’s closet today and getting rid of anything that she no longer wears or no longer fits. We were filling a bag for Jaden who watched with delight oohing and aahhing over each article of clothing, when we came across a beautiful pale green dress. It was an Easter dress a few years ago and Kendall absolutely loves it. Sadly, when she slipped it on, she was about to pop the zipper right out of the dress. Knowing that Kendall can be sensitive about giving things away I asked her if we could put it in the bag. She was very reluctant. “I want to put it in my keep-sake box. It was my Easter dress and it’s special.”

I hung it back in the closet and said, “We’ll hang it here and you can think on it for a few days. Perhaps you could even pray, and ask God what he would have you do with the dress.”

Jaden said, “If I were God I would say (here she switched to a deep voice) Give it to Jaden.”

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Happy Birthday Clae!

Today is our principal’s 60th birthday. It is also the last work day for teachers. Clae is retiring, and we are all very sad to see her go.  She is dearly loved and will be dearly missed. One of our teachers and one of the secretaries went in cahoots with each other and hung the following signs up along the route Clae takes to work each day. They did it early, early this morning so that she would be greeted all along the way!

Another Good One!

This morning I checked with my principal to see if she had received any phone calls due to my slip-of-the-tongue yesterday. She hadn’t. When I shared my story she got a great laugh and shared one of her own. Her’s is worth repeating.

One year when she was still a classroom teacher, she had a student named Fong Yang. One day she got tongue-tied and called him Fang! LOL!

What????

Here’s a good one for you. I use various things to get my students’ attention throughout the day. The usual strategy is to say, “High 5 Please” and raise my hand. When the kids see it, they raise their hands and most of the time the kids are quiet and attentive in 3-5 seconds. When it’s real noisy, I’ll say, “If you can hear my voice, clap once,” followed by a single clap. Then I’ll say, “If you can hear my voice clap twice,” and I clap twice. It works really well because several kids hear me and clap with me so I usually have everyone’s attention after “clap twice.”

Today we encountered a very noisy moment in which I decided to use the clapping strategy to get their attention. They were very excited because the Brine Shrimp hatched and they had just discovered them through magnifying lenses. Well, I got a little tongue-tied and it came out, “If you can hear my voice crap once.”

I didn’t clap and glanced at my student teacher to see if she heard me. I tried to keep a straight face thinking she wouldn’t have picked up on it. Well it only took a moment of eye contact to realize that she had heard it loud and clear!We both bust out laughing. I guess my face turned beet red, and she was laughing so hard she had to sit down. We definitely had the kids’ attention. They kept asking, “What’s so funny?” I wasn’t about to repeat it, but I got a good laugh imagining what some of their responses could have been if a stand-up comedian were embellishing this story. Here’s goes:

1. Do we have to?

2. I don’t know how.

3. “OK” said as pants slide to the knees.

4. My mom doesn’t want me to do that in public.

5. I already did.

6. I just got back from the bathroom.

7. What’s that?

Oh Lordy, Lordy.  I need a vacation! So much for Teacher Appreciation Week. I wonder if my principal will be getting any phone calls?

They Get it From Their Dad!

My husband leaves “To Do” lists for my girls. Today I was at a teacher training workshop all day so Ron left a list of things for the girls to do. He taped it to the kitchen counter and told the girls, “One hour after you get up, I want you to do the things on this list. Then you can play.”

Here’s his list:

  1. unload dishwasher
  2. clean up fish tank table
  3. Kendall toys to room – out of living room
  4. All stuff out of family room
  5. Clean up dining room
  6. Load dishwasher
  7. clean up rooms

There was a note handwritten on the list that said, “Do In This Order”.

The girls left the following note taped to the cupboard door. It was the cupboard where Ron keeps his coffee stuff so they were sure he would get it. It said, “To: Daddy     Do this 1 hour after you get up. Do these in order.”

  1. Pick nose
  2. Clean armpits
  3. Eat the snail in backyard for breakfast (at bottom of slide prepared and salted for you)
  4. Fix swings please
  5. Fix hammock please

Ron got a kick out of it and so did I. I think this will be a great addition to our laugh box! LOL!!!

Teflon Anyone?

I have a beef with Teflon. Anyone else feel my pain? I’d like to speak to the jerk who made the claim that Teflon is “non-stick”. Non-stick my eye!!!! The only thing I’ve been able to cook with Teflon that hasn’t stuck is bacon, and everyone knows that there’s so much fat in that stuff that bacon won’t even stick to cast-iron.

Here’s the deal: I cook hashbrown patties in my non-stick Teflon pan. They stick. I cook chicken breasts in my non-stick Teflon pan. They stick! I fry hamburger in my non-stick Teflon pan. It sticks!!! Even scrambled eggs leave a thin layer stuck to bottom of the non-stick pan! I’ve spent more time scraping  food off my “non-stick” pan that I’ve contemplated hurling my Teflon into the street.

When I was growing up, my mom always cooked in a cast iron skillet. She had them in three different sizes. When I was there last May, she fixed her “Grand-Slam Breakfast”, and low and behold, there on the stove top sat two of her trusty cast irons. You know, I think she’s onto something there. I regret sending our old cast iron skillet off to the Goodwill several years ago. What was I thinking? I fell prey to the non-stick Teflon lie. It’s the only thing that truly hasn’t stuck!