My laptop keeps calling me, beckoning me to sit and write. My heart follows with small nuggets of ideas pumping through my veins, and sadly I’ve had to walk away as more urgent fires have demanded my attention. Last Friday I had to cart my 11-year-old to urgent care and breath a prayer of thanks that it was only a sprain. Crutches were needed for several days. This meant me fetching this, fetching that, carting a backpack and instrument to school, waiting for hop-a-long to catch up, and assisting with bathing and dressing a child who was too scared to put weight on her ankle. I think today we’re finally crutch-free! Yeah!
With a chronically ill spouse, running kids here, there, and everywhere often falls on good old Mom. I’ve attended Awana Jamboree quizzing, dance performances, and a birthday party within the past two weeks. In the midst of this my teaching job required that grading be done, lesson plans be written, staff meetings attended, and report cards completed.
To top it off, I spent yesterday afternoon and evening by my husband’s side in the emergency room. We’ve been at this kind of thing for 15 ½ years. He looked at me with tears running down his face, “I’m really weary of this stuff.” His words pierced my heart as I looked at him through blurred vision, wishing I could wave a magic wand and make it all stop. Some day I’m going to write a book about this journey we call life. Mine has been interesting to say the least.
What will today bring? I don’t know. Another doctor’s appointment and hopefully some answers to the latest unexplained symptoms of something gone awry. Since my husband is experiencing dizziness, I stayed home with him today while my students slaved away under the hands of a very watchful substitute. My thoughts traveled back to my laptop and that burning desire to write something that might inspire someone somewhere. “Use me Lord,” I prayed. Then up popped an email from my friend Kim. It was a notice about the latest post on her blog. I quickly zipped over to her blog and read about the She Speaks conference July 22-24 in Concord, North Carolina.
“What is She Speaks?” I asked. I read on. It’s a conference for women who are in women’s ministry, speakers, or writers. My heart skipped a beat. I’m a writer! It’s a long time dream of mine to write things that change lives. “Wow! I’d really like to attend something like that,” I thought. “But really, with the struggle to support a family of four, one of which has numerous health challenges, there’s no way I can scrape that much cash together by April 15th. I’m just hoping this month’s grocery money stretches far enough.”
As I continued on, my heart beat faster. There is a slim chance that I might be able to go after all. Two Cecil Murphy Scholarships are going to be given away this week! They include conference registration, materials, and two nights at the conference hotel and meals while you’re there. I would have to come up with a plane ticket, but if this is the direction God wants to take me, a plane ticket will be no obstacle. After all, He owns the skies!
I am putting in for this scholarship and here’s hoping that I might be blessed enough to be chosen. It has been the prayer of my heart for several years that God would open doors for me to write. He’s already done that in so many ways through FaithWriters, my blog, and opportunities at church. One day last winter I was walking down the hallway at church, and I prayed, “God, I really want to write for you. You’ve given me this ability. Please use me in this area.”
His response, “I already have.” It’s true, He has used me, but I long for more. Perhaps this She Speaks conference will become another open door for me. If you’re like-minded and would like to check out the conference, you may do so at She Speaks. If you want to join me and apply for a scholarship, you can do that at She Speaks Scholarship Contest. But hurry! You have to apply by March 11th.